First Post..im so sad! always naman eh..

it's 11:53 pm and i decided to create a blog. this is my third blog that i created. i can't find the first blog i made so i decided to make a new one. i have been depressed for the past few weeks. i should not be because i find it so strange that I'm making myself suffer. i can honestly blame myself for all the emotions and sadness i feel but i just can't resist the feeling. i don't know why I'm falling for someone who doesn't even know me. i find it so weird that i am feeling all of this for a person who doesn't even know i exist. i don't know if i am getting crazy or what but one thing is for sure i want to forget him. i don't know how. the worst thing is that he is taken and i can see how happy he is. i don't want to see him, i don't want to think of him and i definitely don't want to fall for him anymore. is it possible? i doubt....i ask myself why am i feeling this right now. all i can answer to myself is that maybe I'm just longing for someone to love me or to even care about me. its been awhile since I've been in love. i just sometime think to myself how nice it would be if someone was even thinking of me besides my family. if someone was thinking if i ate already or am i ok or what i was doing or if i wanted to watch a movie...i guess its not yet my time. i should really be happy cuz i have my friends and my family but any girl would be happy if she had someone to take care of. i miss the feeling of waiting for a test message and when your phone beeps your hurt starts to beat faster or waiting for you phone to ring and talk on the telephone like there is no classes the next day. i also miss caring for someone. i guess you can call me "maalaga" when it comes to that. i don't intent to spoil but sometimes i do because it makes me happy. all i can do is write it down in this blog. maybe someday someone will be there in front of me and will tell me that he loves me. until then i will be waiting or not...hahhaa....i dont know..ill just take it day by day....so there..I'm sleepy..i just wanted to write down what I'm feeling right now. till then. peace.